Monday, May 24, 2010

Listful Mondays: Reading Hazards

 Reading Hazards

We all know how dangerous our favorite hobby/time waster can be. (I am talking about reading, of course, Bloggies.) Let's put together a list of those hazards that have befallen us because of it.

  1. Cold Hands. For some reason my hands turn to ice as I read and I soon require blankets.
  2. Hand Cramps. Especially if I'm reading a hardback or tightly bound book that requires effort to hold it up or hold it open.
  3. Time Warp. It's 2:00 am? How did that happen? I've only been reading for a few minutes...
  4. Hearing Incapacitation. "Mom! I've asked you 5 times if we can have lunch yet!" "...Huh? I'm sorry. I didn't hear you!"
  5. Kitchen Disasters. Including, but not limited to, water overflowing the sink (my mom was furious) and burnt food.
  6. Big Purse Syndrome. (Though for the record, I hate the word purse and refer to mine as My Life. And it's a little backpack.) It has to be big enough to carry at least one novel.
  7. Literary Crying/Laughing. Yes, we will suddenly burst into tears or fits of laughter while reading. No, we are too involved to be embarrassed.
  8. P.A.B.D. Post Amazing Book Depression. Check out this by 25 Hour Books for more information. This requires a whole post unto itself, since I missed weekly geeks last week.
  9. T.B.R. Pile Stress. My brother was recently baffled by this phenomenon. He strove to clarify that none of the reading stress was from school or anything else that could conceivably require me to read anything. I don't think I defended myself well.
  10. Loss of Sleep. Refer back to Time Warp. Also when you can't fall asleep after such an exciting part of the story, or when you dream all blinkin' night about the book.
  11. Sequel Anticipation. Ya know, when you're just gonna die waiting.
  12. Loss of Money. It's a problem. That innocent stack of books at Borders totals really fast. And Amazon....ah suck me in with your free shipping and I forget I just spent $86 on books.
  13. Fictional Character Confusion. That's the confusion that exists when a pretend person becomes so important to you that you forget they are pretend.
  14. Eye Strain. Particularly evident when trying to read when it is really too dark.
  15. Dialect Transference. When you put down that period book or that regional story and find yourself talking that way for at least an hour afterward.
  16. Mispronunciations. Those big words you only encountered while reading and said wrong in your head for years, then got laughed at when you used it out loud. (reverberated, chasm, rapport...) Or the confusion engendered when you discuss the book with someone and you can't figure out which character they are talking about because you've been saying it wrong the whole time.
  17. Dirty House. Who has time to clean?
What hazards have you encountered??

{Next week: A Collection. Perhaps the titles in your crockpot cooking corner, or all the Newberry's you own, or the rhyming picture books. I'll be going with my pride and joy - my Pumpkin Book Collection. Especially since you all have heard enough about my fairy tales.}


  1. Great list!I suffer constantly from the Time Warp although my moment of "huh? When did it get that late?" usually comes around 4am :P
    I also find that after reading or even watching Jane Austen adaptations I want to talk like the characters for hours!

  2. Great list! Now, how am I going to come up with stuff that's not just like yours! :) I may have to copy a few....

  3. I love this! I have suffered from all of the above. Time Warp gets me every time :)

  4. Okay, my list is up. Come see how I did:

  5. I love - love - love this post! Seriously. One of my favorite list of yours yet!

  6. First time for me to see your list. It's quite hilarious and so true!!!Great post!!

  7. Oh MY GOSH!!!! THAT list is just too funny!!! I suffer from every single one of those except for the dialect transference because I don't read a lot of period books! But cold/freezing hands! OH, that does top my list! I love this list!!! It should go into your top 10 posts! Hazards of Reading...Hah! Too, too funny. I'm still laughing!

    btw, I like the new header & background!

  8. A most exquisite post! Just lovely, Dahling.

    I suffer from a Borders addiction. The coupons I get each week in my e-mail. It's especially a sin to not use the 40% off ones.

  9. This is a good list. I am beguiled by pile stress. It's a major hazard around here. :)

    Fun to see you at book club the other night. I'm glad I'll get to keep up with you on the blog during our summer break!

  10. Great list. I will be back for more next Monday.

  11. LMAO What a great list! I can relate to almost every item!